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Aired on November 23, 2021
Episode 121
Stop Convincing People and Do This Instead
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Stop convincing, start influencing. Build strong relationships, actively listen, show empathy, and align with their values. Lead by example, share success stories, and invite collaboration. Connect, understand, and inspire. Influence with empathy and authenticity for mutual growth and success.

Stop Convincing People and Do This Instead

Tired of trying to convince people? There's a better way: influencing them. Instead of pushing your ideas, try understanding and connecting with others. Here's how to do it.

Understanding the Difference between Convincing and Influencing

Convincing is hard, like pushing a boulder uphill. Influencing is easier, like flowing with a river. It's about connecting with emotions and understanding others, not just using logic and arguments.

Building Relationships

Strong relationships help you influence others. People listen to those they trust and respect.

Active Listening

  • Listen carefully to others.
  • Ask questions to understand them better.
  • Don't interrupt or jump to conclusions.


  • Try to see things from their point of view.
  • Recognize and validate their feelings.
  • Offer support and understanding.


  • Be real and honest in your interactions.
  • Share your own experiences and be open.
  • Build trust by being transparent.

Understanding Their Needs and Values

Align your message with what's important to them.

Ask Questions

  • Find out what they value and want.
  • Understand their concerns and desires.
  • Learn about their motivations and priorities.

Tailor Your Approach

  • Make your message relevant to their values and goals.
  • Show how your ideas meet their needs.
  • Use language and examples they can relate to.

Offer Solutions

  • Present your ideas as solutions to their problems.
  • Highlight benefits that matter to them.
  • Show how your approach fits their values.

Leading by Example

Influence others by being a role model.

Walk the Talk

  • Be consistent in what you say and do.
  • Show the behaviors you want others to follow.
  • Lead by example.

Share Success Stories

  • Share examples of how your approach has worked.
  • Show the positive impact of your ideas.
  • Use real stories to illustrate benefits.

Invite Collaboration

  • Encourage others to join you in a common goal.
  • Build a sense of teamwork.
  • Create chances for others to get involved.

Wrapping It Up

Instead of convincing, focus on understanding, connecting, and leading by example. Influence others by building relationships, understanding their needs, and being a role model. It's about inspiring, not forcing, people to join you. Remember, influence with empathy and authenticity for mutual growth and success.

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Biggest Takeaways:

  • There is nothing wrong with people in general, but remember to qualify individuals and make sure that you are spending the right time with the right people, at the right point in their journey.
  • If you want to get your proposals accepted, you need to follow the instructions of your ideal clients.
  • Key Knowledge of your clients: they are hungry to know more.
  • When you stand for something so strongly that people just resonate with what you are saying, and they resonate with who you are, they want to be in your atmosphere.
  • You do not need to feel like you are convincing people to buy from you.
  • At the end of the day, remember: If you do not ask, you do not get.



  • The number one reason why you might be seeing the wrong types of people buying from you [01:04]
  • The two points of disconnection when you are making sales [02:33]
  • How to get bespoke custom one-on-one support [05:38]
  • What can allow you to further your influence and impact in a more beneficial way [07:31]
  • One of the biggest learning opportunities [07:47]
  • What I recommend you do [14:55]


🎙 Previously Episodes Mentioned on This Episode and Powerful Resource Episodes:


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